Tantrums

Seems like tantrums are frequent lately with my girls. and if I'm looking for a moment of sweetness despite my mind unravelling amidst the tears, screams, stomping, etc here is what i have found:

Evie has alligator tears that roll over her cheeks like sleds on snow covered hills

Ansley forehead creases and her mouth becomes half the size of her beautiful face when she cries.

I love my girls.

This morning Evie told me that she had babies in her tummy so we needed to be quiet. She then laid out the blanket and scooped each of the six babies from her tummy onto the blanket. i don't think she put them back :)

We had a very disturbing time at the post office today. but a cute moment afterwards was ansley collapsing onto evie's bed with a huge smile just so glad to lay her head. (i know how she feels)

I've been walking a lot in the morning and I'm not a morning person. walking before neighbors and strangers are out and about makes me feel like i'm taking advantage of moments that others aren't. it's so quiet and the birds are so expressive to each other. i really enjoy it. and now i crave that time to continue my prayers to Jesus. My life has never been so obviously in need of His peace and direction. I'm thankful for the peace, even if it comes in small drops...thank You.

Simply

After many times of "losing it" I have begun a journey to get back to life in simple terms...
so over the next few weeks I'm going to stop getting stressed or worried about things I can't control. I'll stop feeling guilty about the things and people I can't change. I'll prioritize the priorities and stick to the basics. I'll get better at saying no. And I'll make the most of this time...

Tremendous and miraculous two

My baby is two today! unreal. Evie has rocked my world. This is the hardest and most wonderful thing ever. We are spending the day together as our new title of four today. first, chick fil a for some lellanade, then toys r us for a special toy, then the pawk (park). all of evie's favorite's-nope toys r us was for ryan and i...yep it still has a little magic to it

and the best present has been ansley sleeping the last 40 minutes by herself with no momma beside her! hurray

Three weeks

Ansley is upstairs, Evie is in her room. Both girls are down...if only for a moment. I'm listening to healer and it's the song that has been a reminder where to keep my focus during this...
This is definately a hard season and it's more than i thought it would be-though i'm not sure why i thought that.
Evie has been breaking my heart lately with how upset she gets at night screaming "momma, i anna old you" (hold you). Ansley cries and cries-she has such a loud cry. She cries when her diaper is dirty (evie never noticed-still doesn't), hungry, or when she has been sitting by herself. The time frame was 5 minutes-now it's longer. She still doesn't fall asleep on her own during the day without rocking or being held. exhausting. makes me feel bad.
But for my thankful moment: seeing evie run-it's just so cute how her hair bounces when she runs or when she brought every bear, baby, and stuffed dog to the bathroom this morning to praise Jesus while the music played, or when she ran to get another bear and had one hand raised praising jesus.
She talks constantly and it's super precious when she tries to explain something that happened using main words "momma, car, beep beep!"
I know this will get better. I know my patience will grow and also that I will continue to have discernment on what to do...that's what i know.